There have been tons of wonderful homeschool mothers posting on blogs and social media hoping to help ease the stress of parents who are suddenly finding themselves wearing the one pair of moccasins they never thought they would take a walk in: those of a homeschool parent. I am going to take a bit of a different tack from what I have seen in other posts. Since this has been going on for a couple weeks now, I have the benefit of hearing some of the feedback from parents and I have identified the following struggles:
I do not know who is going to kill whom first--me, or the kids.
Teacher is not a role my kids respect me in, and this is ruining our relationship
Everything is so disorganized. The teachers are trying, my kids are trying, I am trying, but it is not functioning well and everyone is suffering for it.
The teachers have a great system in place, but my kiddo just cannot get in the swing of things, no matter how hard we try.
Our school is not even trying. They have just thrown in the towel for the year. I am not okay with that.
I have tried to put something together for my kids, but I am overwhelmed.
I do not know who is going to kill whom first--me, or the kids. (OR: time to kill 'em with organization)
I have heard this from soooo many parents. I would be a millionaire if I had a dime for every time a parent has told me over the years that they do not have the patience to homeschool their kids. And now nobody has a choice. The first thing to realize is that some of this probably has nothing whatsoever to do with school. This is a stressful time in your home because, in all likelihood, you have never spent this much time cooped up with each other. During school breaks, you go on outings, visit friends, take vacations. You do not spend 24/7 in each other's orbits. If it makes you feel any better, neither do homeschooling families. It is a common joke to ask which dolt put the "home" in "homeschooling." Many adults are stressed about finances from lost hours or from trying to manage to work not only away from your setup at the office but with all your kids around. Many families are also coping with sick family members or worrying about high-risk loved ones catching the virus. Even for long-time homeschoolers like us, there are a lot of new factors in play, so go easy on yourself.
My husband has also worked from home since before the epidemic. When he first began, it took the kids a bit to get used to the fact that when Dad is in the office with his door shut, you need to proceed respectfully. We at least were lucky that I was not working, but our youngest still had ninja skills that she employed while I was working one-on-one with a sibling. You need to be very firm and very consistent in the voice you use to let them know when they can and cannot interrupt.
If both parents work (or even just one--I needed this for years and I was solely focused on the kids), set up and post a schedule on poster board with everyone's names (even Mom's and Dad's) across the top and time blocks down the side. On small Post-it notes--I used a different color for each family member--write one task to each note (things like math, piano, spelling for the kids and phone calls, Zoom meetings, and report writing for parents). Then, arrange them on your poster-board in the column for each family member. Using the Post-its makes it easy to shuffle things around until you find a schedule that works for everyone. Even if mom does not work, she needs a column in order to block in spaces for one-on-one assignments that the kids always need help with or just time for problems that pop up with the kids' assignments. We also used to give our computer and the piano a column to ensure that two kids were not inadvertently double booked. We had this wall chart for a few years until our kids got a bit older and enjoyed the autonomy of setting their own individual schedules. In times of change and uncertainty, being extra structured gives kids a much needed anchor and will help them feel more settled and less prone to acting out.
Teacher is not a role my kids respect me in, and this is ruining our relationship.
Thank goodness we live in a world that is so connected, even when we are all stuck at home! If you are attempting to help with an assignment that is assigned by a classroom teacher, your kiddo likely thinks you are completely clueless and therefore useless. I have been in your shoes while trying to help my kids with assignments from their university classes. The number one rule, and one that works even better in your schooling at home setup than in a classroom, is to let your kiddo take a break. Immediately. This is not brick-and-mortar school where they have to stay in their seat and power through. And never punish them for acting out, no matter how disrespectfully they act. Trust me, they do not treat their teachers at school like this and the only reason they are lashing out now is because they are angry at the circumstances--not you. After they calm down, have a reasoned discussion letting them know that was not acceptable behavior and discuss how it might be better handled the next time. There will be a next time; in our home, someone has a melt-down at least once a day. I ignore the behavior, my kiddo comes back and apologizes after they are calm, and we decide how to tackle the school problem. I no longer have to talk to them about their behavior. We accept it, know that all is forgiven, and press on having shed the incident. That is how you keep your parent/child bond strong while still enforcing the idea that school needs to get done.
Never use the same rules for homework that you would use for chores. It is fine to expect your kiddos to hop to and then stick with a chore until it is done and measures up. Not so with an assignment they are getting frustrated with. Sit down with each kiddo in a quiet moment and make a list of things to do when they need a mental timeout. Some examples of things my students have used over the years include: jump on the trampoline, swing on the swings or zip line, take the dog for a walk, voluntarily go to their room for a bit (never send them there!), listen to some music, play an instrument, meditate, etc.--whatever your kiddo thinks will help them. If they are starting to get frustrated, gently suggest that they take a break and do something on their list. Sometimes, kids do not want a break because they want to plow through and get all their work done for the day (one of homeschooling's huge bennies). In that case, discuss what they have left to do for the day, and ask them which assignment they feel like doing or which one they feel would be least stressful. Let them have ownership of the choice. Another bennie of homeschooling is that nobody says you have to do things in a specific order (although, we always begin the day with math, as that is when their brains are freshest).
Remember, too, that many teachers are very available to Zoom or FaceTime with your kiddo. In the past, we have used family, church members, and even the kids' friends when my students just want to listen to someone else's take on it. My kids call my dad Grandpa Google, and I think he gets a kick out of helping them with school. Just yesterday, my daughter, frustrated with an assignment on World War II for her Western Civilizations university class, called Grandpa. He is bored and lonely at home in self-isolation and was more than happy to chat about one of his favorite topics for a half hour with his granddaughter, replacing the lecture she would have gotten in class had uni been in session.
The teachers have a great system in place, but my kiddo just cannot get in the swing of things, no matter how hard we try.
Communicate, communicate, communicate! A number of my friends teach in brick-and-mortal schools, and they are well aware of the challenges families are facing right now. Even our family is finding that, with none of our huge list of activities outside the home happening right now, we are really struggling to find and keep a schedule. I was very sick for several weeks, during which the kids did not exactly take ownership of their education and slipped into some lazy habits. Since we do not have any afternoon and evening commitments, everyone is staying up late, sleeping in way too long, and then mentally going, "Nope!" at the idea of still doing school at seven even though they did not start until three. I'm being patient with myself as my energy slowly creeps back up and with them.
Teachers know that families are having unique struggles and are happy with what they get out of their students. Again, I suggest the schedule I explained above. Keep in touch with your kids' teachers, but if what they are assigning really is not working, no matter what you try, very firmly tell your teachers that you are going to formulate another plan for your child. Ask for a conference call and lay out an alternate plan (more about that below) that you and your kiddo have put together. Ask that they support you in what you are doing, and ask what they would like for you to provide them so they can have documentation of what your student is accomplishing in order to award them credit for it. In every single state, you have the right to do this. Unless your child is in high school, you do not even need to worry if the teacher refuses to get on board with your plan. High school is a bit trickier, but good documentation should carry the day. Remember, whichever path you decide upon, set and keep to a schedule. My girls are very grumpy, but I told them that this week we are going back to implementing one in our house as well. We also talked and agreed that we need to go back to having a designated schoolroom, as everyone concentrates better in a space their brain is conditioned to know means it is focus time.
Our school is not even trying. They have just thrown in the towel for the year. I am not okay with that.
The middle schools in our town did this. One week after spring break, and they decided that they were not even going to try. Parents are livid. Especially concerning is where this will leave eighth grade students for math placement in the fall, since they will miss a third of their coursework this semester. Many families are having the same motivation issues we have been experiencing and are planning on doing at least part-time school through the summer, but they are floundering trying to find materials for teaching their kids. If you are in a similar boat, no matter the age of your kiddos, pick the subject that you are most concerned about and set a slower schedule for the summer. Kids still need to feel like they get a break, or they will get resentful. Let them have a say in what kind of schedule they want, making it clear that absolutely nothing can bump their school work, that it must be done before they will be allowed to do anything else that day (Want to do on a day trip to the lake tomorrow with your best friend's family? Then I guess you owe me two hours of school this evening). Last night, one of my girls stayed up until the wee hours so that she could take advantage of today's (a Monday) beautiful weather and go four-wheeling with her dad. Some kids will opt to get up early to knock out their work and have the whole rest of the day free. Others will opt to sleep in and then get it done. My one piece of advice is to be pretty firm about the same schedule every day, or at least week to week if you have activities that require adjustments on some days. My kids have done at least a couple hours of school at least three days a week for almost every summer of their lives. They all grudgingly agree that going three months without math is really not a good plan anyone and have even been known to get bored without at least a little learning to fill their days.
I have tried to put something together for my kids, but I am overwhelmed.
So how do parents who never even thought about homeschooling find materials to either replace ill-conceived virtual public school offerings or for the whole enchilada if they are getting no help and want to have their kids doing something? Several parents have told me that they have tried looking online, but there are so many choices that they are overwhelmed. Do not feel bad if you are like them. Even parents who decide to homeschool in a planned manner get overwhelmed by the ocean of materials out there. So, I'm going to keep it super simple, and, with so many budgets struggling right now, as inexpensive as possible. You will notice that no apps are anywhere to be found. In my experience, it is very difficult to monitor your students to ensure they are really doing what they are supposed to be doing if you are relying upon online sources, so with two exceptions, both of which I think will truly engage your kids, I recommend avoiding those.
First: Run, don't walk, to grab your cell phone and call Rainbow Resource. (1-888-841-3456) This massive homeschool distributor has been in business for many decades and is the heartbeat of every homeschool I know. But the very best thing? They have veteran homeschool parents-turned-consultants just waiting to take your call and offer you curriculum material advice tailored specifically to your kiddos' needs. All that, and it is free. Their print catalogue is printed, half every other year along with new products, in the format of a phonebook and clocks in at well over 1,000 pages. Their website search engine is not the greatest, and you will be left feeling befuddled, so just call their amazing staff. You can tell them if you want secular or religious curriculum, what subjects you need (or ask advice if you are unsure), what kind of learner your kiddo is, what your overall budget is, etc. I strongly urge you to let your kiddos sit in on the call and have a say in their curriculum. None of our final curriculum choices are mine alone; the beauty of homeschooling is the opportunity it affords students to decide what they want to study and which resources sound most appealing to them. The consultant will walk you through some suggestions and place the order for what you decide to purchase. No, they are not paying me to say this. I just love and appreciate them for the quality materials that they have provided for us over the years for prices that absolutely cannot be beat. If you do want to search their website, they can be found at rainbowresource.com
Second: Veritas Press, a pretty hard-core classical and religious homeschool publisher is offering sixty days free access to their online history, Bible, and Omnibus (combined history and literature for middle and high schoolers) courses. Their product is outstanding for students of faith (or who do not mind that aspect) who enjoy a rigorous educational experience. If you have concerns about faith overriding facts, in my experience, their products are secularly sound. Their approach is more of an analysis of the material and then application to theology. Since it is free, you do not have anything to lose if you decide against it after having a look. We have used a number of their materials, at different academic levels, in the past (although never the online courses, which, despite the great things we have heard, are rather pricey). You can find them online at veritaspress.com
Third: Shmoop.com has long been a favorite at our house. We have a subscription to all the teacher goodies, but their general free site is amazing. They are best known for their wacked-out, completely irreverent humor that middle and high schoolers love. This is your go-to source for literature help, including a Shakespeare Translator. They do not provide the books themselves, but rather comprehension and analysis material for pretty much every book you can imagine ever reading in school. All the basics: plot/setting summary, literary elements, figurative language, famous quotations, author bios, historical setting and relevance, possible essay topics, you name it, it is free and far superior to any other site like it (not to mention vastly more entertaining).
My two cents: If your kiddo does not particularly enjoy reading, keep them in the workbook, worksheet, textbook type educational model that almost all public school kids are used to. Kids are struggling right now because their whole routine has been turned on its head. Try to keep moving forward in as familiar a fashion as possible. I hear from many families that their kids do not even have their schoolbooks because they were left in their lockers or desks during spring break; then the isolation orders hit and it was not deemed safe to get materials out of the school building. If your kids are in that boat, Rainbow Resource can set you up with everything you need to at least mimic the model of learning your students are used to using. If your kiddo loves to read, let the Rainbow consultant know that as it will affect what they suggest. Many homeschoolers use whole-book based models that are seldom found in public classrooms. There are lots of great learning aids out there for families who would like to give the model a try but feel they need some concrete guidance. Although this website is brand new--and all my focus had been going into the book lists--given the COVID situation, I plan to put out a couple posts a week on whole-book how-tos for those of you who would like to know more about the implementation and documentation aspect of a whole-book based education. This will also give guidance to those of you who need help documenting what your students are doing so that you can present their teachers with what they need in order to count the work for public school credit.
I wish you and your students the very best and am happy to help if you have questions about book selections based on your kiddos' interests and needs. Feel free to contact me through the website or via messenger on Learning Unabridged's Facebook and Instagram pages.